Allergies are weird as heck. You can snap a humans leg in half and they can recover but if you eat this peanut u dead
it’s very frustrating being a girl and trying to flirt with other girls like. you tell them, ur cute. ‘Aw thank you’ no. no i’m being gay with you. homo intended. damn it
I’m not even a lesbian but this made me laugh
r u sure pussy-destroyer3000
I got catcalled while I was walking the other day and I couldn’t think of anything clever to say so I just made the most hideous shrieking noise I possibly could.
I heard the guys in the car go “the fuck?”
you know you have hit your lowest point of being low when you start procrastinating your showers
"but officer they were fucking with my clique"
i’m such an asshole but i’m also a very kind-hearted person who likes making ppl happy and if i love u i will love u with all my heart and all my soul but then i’m also such an asshole
dang girl, you’ll make the prettiest flowers once your body rots into the earth.
just because i hate me doesnt mean you can
uk government: sure here you go. you'll have to pay it back but only when you're earning £21,000+ a year, and if you don't pay it off after 30 years we'll just write it off, don't worry about it man
scottish government: nah man just go to uni we ain't gonna charge you
us government: no. you gotta pay it yourself. upfront. your parents have to save up from the moment you're born. good luck, fucker. you have six months after graduating to start paying loans so you better pray to fucking god and jesus that you have a well-paying job by then or be prepared to be fucked up the ass without lube.
I can see 6 years into the future…Thanks to my 2020 vision.
How long have you been waiting to use that joke
you could have made this joke literally anytime
I don’t mind when people post ugly photos of me but only if I am being ugly ironically if i was just ugly by accident then I get upset